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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Azlin's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, June 18th, 2014
12:35 pm
I miss my old penpal
Going through the old, uncancelled American stamps I received as a gift over a decade ago, I have been having nostalgic memories for the past 3 days about the time we used to write to each other in the early noughties. Our lives got busy when we were in uni, so we lost touch, but I have never forgotten about her. Wished her a happy birthday in October 2004, but no reply so I'm pretty sure she was no longer using that e-mail. Sent her a little something in October 2009 to her PMB address, it was delivered but I don't know whether or not she has ever received it.

I'm now wearing the panties she made for me. I haven't worn it often as I would like to keep it as a memory forever.

I miss her like crazy!!!
Saturday, June 18th, 2011
1:51 pm
Amazon Gift Cards
Forgot to buy a birthday gift?
No time to go shopping?
Confined to a wheelchair and can't leave home?
Don't know what to give for a present?
Owe someone a favour?

Get them an Amazon Gift Card-- No HASSLES and sent instantly via e-mail.
If you would rather them receive it by mail, SHIPPING is FREE!



Current Mood: accomplished
Monday, November 29th, 2004
5:00 pm
Just an update
I hope everyone had an enjoyable thanksgiving. I was so happy to see Bonnie again, my Mei2, after a yr of not seeing her. I really missed her. So on the evening of the 25th, Bonnie, Jenny and I went to eat dinner at a chinese restaurant at the 99 Ranch Market complex in Arcadia. Food was pretty good. I got to see Bonnie again the next day at Santa Anita Mall. Wow... that mall is beautiful now... what an upgrade... with the theatres, the bar and new shops. Later Candy and Irene joined us. We had dinner at the new extention at B&G. Ah... food is good but relatively expensive. Dang... they all look much older than since the last time I saw them. I guess college makes ppl age faster?!!!

Living in Calif sure isn't cheap. Now that I am renting this apt under my name, all the bills keep haunting me. The RENT, the electric bill, the phone bill, the insurance bill, the credit card bills plus the groceries, gas, car maintenance costs just drives me crazy!!! Therefore I think it's probably better if I live on an on-campus apt. I haven't started searching for apts but I am going to soon... LoL... I always say that and keep procrastinating anyway. Anyone who finds good apt deals, do tell me :)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
1:12 am
Fire!!!
There is a fire at Lothian. Help me!!!
Sunday, April 25th, 2004
10:30 pm
Yellow capris
I have always wanted to buy a yellow short/capris/jeans. I finally got 1:

http://www.gap.com/asp/Product.asp?wdid=401515&wpid=230005
Monday, March 29th, 2004
11:42 pm
Friday, March 19th, 2004
9:06 pm
Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
9:52 pm
Friday, March 5th, 2004
2:56 pm
Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
2:55 am
Kids clothes are so BIG!
In America, Kids clothes are so BIG!

Last month when I was at Old Navy, I tried on this Boys size 18 jeans. Even after I zipped and buttoned it, I could still pull that pair of jeans down to my knees.
Another time I went to Kohls to buy boxers. On the carton it says that that boxers is meant for someone 64'-67', weighing 126-138lb. It was supposedly meant for kids. I thought that it may be inaccurate coz I didn't think that kids tend to be that big (or at least they don't make kids clothes that big). When I went home and tried it on, they were sorta big! That is ridiculous! They actually make kids clothes for people weighing 138lb!

I always thought that kids clothes were meant for kids/ppl weighing less than 3 digits.
Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
10:38 pm
Reflection
I am poor. So is my family.
-I have to send money back home.
-When I go home during lebaran, I have to take care of my younger siblings: Cook their meals, Wash their clothes, Help them with their homework.

Sometimes I just want to shout at my parents for having too many children and putting a lot of responsibility on me.

One evening, I sat under a tree and closed my eyes. At that time I realized what my parents have done for me but never complained. When my father was unemployed in 1990 (I was five years old), they only ate a meal a day but always made sure that I had at least 2 meals a day. They even bought me toys when I wanted to so badly even if it means that they have to starve. They wanted to have more children but they realized that they wouldn't be able to rear additional kids giving them satisfactory nutrition. But most importantly, they wanted to make me happy and not have to suffer due to siblings. How many hours, minutes, seconds did they have to take care of me? If they were not taking care of me, how many hours, minutes, seconds did they think about me just to make sure that they were doing a good job in taking care of me? I couldn't count.

Now that I am older and able to earn some money, I often complain to myself that they are asking too much from me. After reflecting upon myself under a banana tree, I feel awful now and promise that I will never complain again.
Thursday, December 11th, 2003
1:19 am
My experience when I first came to the U.S.
Cum here, no Inglis, no job, wuk hard. Wash toilet efereday fifteen awur. Later, better. Know little Inglis, I wuk at rich pipel aus. I klin their rums, kuk their meals, tek kare of their cildren. They so inhuman. They eat hamburger, cili pries--- American pud. I dun like American pud. When they not there, I kuk Indonesian pud. My rum no good but good becos I no need pay. They let me live for pree. My rum a lot moskito, kokroach, rat. I miss my famili. I have to send money back hom.
Monday, December 8th, 2003
11:49 pm
My life sucks!
I am such a crackhead. I really doubt that I could pass my classes this quarter with D's. I am pessimistic of getting anything above a D.

Maybe I should drop outta college and work full-time? I figure, if I am this stupid, why the hell am I investing in something that doesn't bear fruits in the future?
Monday, November 24th, 2003
6:13 pm
Not dieting anymore
Well, I have already loss 3 pounds and I am satisfied. Right now, I am not trying to lose any weight- I just don't wanna regain them back so I have to eat accordingly.

Wish me luck.
Friday, October 17th, 2003
7:30 pm
I need to lose weight
Well... I usually gain weight during the winter and lose them in the summer but this summer I just got heavier from eating too much Fast Food.

Most ppl say that I am not fat but I know better... they just don't wanna hurt me. I mean my parents say that I am fat and that I should lose weight. Why would parents lie to their own daughter? So... now, I am trying to be a good girl for once by obeying them. So far I lost 2 pounds these past 2 weeks (thatz becoz I had a cold), so now I am being extra careful not to regain weight. I need to lose more or else my parents will hate me.
Sunday, August 10th, 2003
5:15 pm
All about me beneath my skin
I write a lot, but I am at no liberty to post it up in here to impress you, just yet. politics, art, engineering,physics, clinical psych., medical,weird experiments, write zines/poems/philosophy,supportive arguments,open mind, anti- norm,anarchy, non profit org, U.N, cia,altruism, universalism, hidden meanings, fashion, design, telepathy,feelings, AI, friendly ppl, nice people who understands, anti-racism, hanging out, witty, intelligent, likes to talk about anything, multi racial, anti-attitude, Books, Geeks, knowing that its ok to be boring and the like. Also, I am not emo, punk, goth, metal or whatever you want to label me...This person is just me and I find it sexy to be yourself. I also have the guts to say I'm sometimes too opinionated or too silent, but I'm down with that. I'm very boring when I am bored and silent...but don't be fooled, up in my head: there are more than a billion words waiting to be unleashed and spilled out rapidly. I could kill myself for saying I'm really friendly, but I guess thats true. *dies at the instant* NOTE: The reason why I do not write about myself is because people will most definately invoke different judgements upon me, so I shall not "force" them to think what I want them to think. Therefore, these are not even half of what I like to do in the world...but it shall hopefully give you a general overview of what my interests are. *I don't care if you're boring...Silence = mind in motion* Carefully constructive arguments are sexy...keep that in mind. Locking myself up in order to paint or write, and being very melodramatic First of all, I have no prior knowledge regarding my presence on this website. I might even take it down someday. Unfortunately my dear commoners, I am not a walking billboard (no really this is true). Thank you, come again soon and have a nice day. I don't want you all to love me, I just want you to know me. Fair enough, I suppose. This is all I have to say for now. For you out there: I am really 83 and I am happily married with 011001001 (binary codes) test tube babies. Goodbye!! I love piercings but I don't have too many because I do not wish to leave a mark or a trace of me anywhere. Its a useful strategy. I am also perverted and a sex expert, even though I don't look like one, considering my age and wrinkled face (although you probably can't see it because I'm obsessed with Botox and it has taken complete control over my life due to constant pressure from everyone and the media who likes me for my looks and not for who I am). People only love me because I wear a size 0 and I've got the smallest boobies in the whole world. Not only am I a sex pervert/expert, I am also THE real masturbater, however please do not inquire within. Restricted to employees only! The only difference is the fact that I am not as wasted as you are in life *_*. Do you really have to conform? Perhaps not. Prove the society today that you have something new to offer. Make yourself heard. Start a riot! BE an activist and a pacifist. Conventional standards suck and more people are following, succumbing to be its disciple. Be you: realize, read, notice, observe, experience, experiment, write, plan, strategize, change. 1)Perception is deception and they are certainly very distorted, hence you must understand and consider other factors before deciding or imposing judgements. Also, think critically. 2)Be silent and still, observe and plan to therefore be stronger than any extraneous foreign (outside) influences. 3)Know yourself before deciding that you know others better than they do 4) Against all kinds of vulnerability 5)Always stay alive and know that kind words/compliments are meaningless unless they are shown through actions. 6)Never admit defeat, never succumb to the world 7)Understand propaganda and how you can use it to your advantage. 8)Finally:To win the game, you will have to be in the game and play the role. But the right moves are yours to make. Being simply fucked up is not the answer kids. Wake up! This is the rebel inside of you who eventually put you all to sleep after long hours of misunderstanding what I've been trying to say. The confusion is worthwhile. BE an INDIVIDUAL (Do not ever let feelings take over your consciences) Only talk to me after understanding and abiding to these rules.
Monday, July 7th, 2003
8:20 pm
Does the word satisfaction even existed or do you have to compromise to be able to blend in?
If satisfaction does exist, it only does temporarily. People just always want more and more. Say that today you are complaining coz your breasts are too small and you do a surgury. Right after, you are probably satisfied if the results turn out as you expected. But that is short-lived. Next, you will probably be complaining how old and kriput you look. Then you will do a face lift. If that also turns out well, you will be happy and satisfied but that is short-lived too. Then you will probably be complainig about spiders (the purple things you find on your legs esp when u get older), osteoporosis, high kolestrol and all those other b/s.

Especially if u weren't the only child, you would have been aware at a really young age.
I already see satisfaction as a problem as young as I can remember (even at 3). I never got most of what I wanted. Even at that age I knew that life wasn't beautiful.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SATISFACITON IN LIFE!
Sunday, July 6th, 2003
7:34 pm
4th of July
Well Guess what I did for 4th of July? WORK NON-STOP for over 8 hours (with only a 10 min break in-between). I think I was called to work coz they were lacking of employees and I noticed so when I worked. But thatz ok coz hey, I am earning money and I don't give a damn about 4th of July. Whatz so special? seeing the fireworks? Thatz too childish, I think that only someone born yesterday would enjoy that!
Friday, June 27th, 2003
4:28 pm
Walk around the neighbourhood or Drive my car around my hometown? Nah- Couldn't find anything more boring than that. All I will see is basically just roads, houses, trees, boring ppl, POLICE CARS ready to catch me anytime.

Itz really hard for me to appreciate this place coz I wasn't raised here. I couldn't believe how much I love and miss that 3rd world country now that I am here. The longer I have been here, the more I long to be in that country again.
3:33 pm
Dang... today is exactly 4 yrs that I have been in CA, USA. At least I came here when I was 14, at least I have had a good enough childhood. I think I should be happy enough that I didn't grow up here coz I really couldn't find anything to do here-- aside from eating and sleeping, then getting fat! Back there, I always filled my days with "good stuff"-- from eating at the warung to having fun at the mall (ice-skating, Timezone etc).
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